Thanks for visiting my blog! I have a few rules to cover before we get started on the reading experience that I am presenting to you free of charge.

• There may be ads. If I show ads, you have to view them.
• I'd like you to really take time to look at the ads.
• There's a written test about the ads later.
• From time to time I may include code snippets on my site that load in your browser, and connect to all sorts of other things to help better serve ads and measure site usage.
• By "time to time" I mean 50 to 100 times per page.
• They may also be used to follow you around the Internet.
• If you search on something on my site or even look too long at an image, you may be served contextual ads at every other site you visit for weeks to come. So I hope you like fingernail clippers and super glue.
• While I think the networks I've partnered with to provide ads and measurement and suck your life force are honorable, I really don't have any particular notion of what they do with the information they gather from you while you're on my page. What's the worst that could happen?
• You agree to hold me harmless against the worst that can happen.
• If you block anything that I intend to load on a page, you're literally taking food out of my mouth. That blocker comes to my house and takes food out of my hand and slaps me, and then my children starve.
• You agree I haven't broken into your house with hired goons and forced you to read this page. The goons were volunteers.
• Blocking ads and trackers is stealing, in the sense that it costs me nothing additional on this blog to serve a million times the traffic.
• It's free as in free association, not free as in free beer.

If you'll just mark your X here ___ and fax back this page, and send a check with the mandatory non-refundable deposit, I can get you approved in a matter of days to read this site, and we can be on our way.